BRAD PITT AND HIS FEMALE ORBIT

BRAD - There's really nothing I dislike about Brad Pitt. I have some favorite movies of his like "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood", "Seven", "World War Z", "Benjamin Buttons", "Interview with the Vampire", etc. But it is his congenial personality along with his male maintenance of aging and his genetics, I guess, that keep him so attractive and likable to me (and so many others).  I love how he wanted to make sure that the lines in his face showed in the Chanel No. 5 ads that he did. You can tell the vast difference between his aging process (acceptance?) and Sandra Bullock- who don't get me wrong, I totally love - in their movie together "The Lost City". I understand there can be more pressure on women in entertainment, but the contrast between the two of them standing side by side in one of the final scenes was like watching a cartoon woman and a handsome slightly-worn matinee idol. 

His autograph: Shown here, you'll see a nice portrait with an authentic early-career signature. Brad has a distinctive and concise nice autograph, but it's gotten quicker and briefer over time. I'm happy to have this nice full signature of his. And you'll also see I have a forgery signed card pawned off as "authentic in-person".

Onto the women... GWYNETH PALTROW and him were a cute couple way back in the day. She later said that they broke up because she was too young and immature. Makes perfect sense and I really can't see them together as a long-term couple. I'm not going to drag Gwyneth too hard: conscious uncoupling, Goop, the stealth wealth in court during her skiing accident lawsuit and bending over to the losing plaintiff whispering "I wish you well". Come on ... these things are quite amusing. She comes across as a bit condescending, and if you choose to name your children after biblical characters and fruits, that's entirely up to you. But I'm not really interested in a candle that smells like vaginas or female orgasms. To me her biggest appeal was the Oscar win from "Shakespeare in Love" and how she looked in that gown when she accepted the Academy Award. "Sliding Doors" was good as was her appearance on "Glee". I was stunned by her surprisingly sweet and appealing voice when she did "Cruisin'" with Huey Lewis, I was convinced that she was going to release an album. Then came "Country Strong", it was ok, and Gwyneth charted a song at #30 on the Country chart and then her singing just fizzled out. Too bad, since I like listening to her more than watching her. Ooops. I'll leave Gwyneth alone now because she gets enough flak online. Plus, being married to Brad Falchuk means that she is one-degree away from Ryan Murphy with his good and bad Crazy Town. That must be fun for her to overhear their meetings, phone calls or video chats. P.S. Brad and Ryan did recruit Gwyneth to be the voice of "Daphne", the overbearing and jealous smart device in American Horror Stories. That was fun!

AUTOGRAPH: Shown here is an authentic signed early-career shot of Gwynnie Goop.

Listen to her sweet vocal:

After Brad's engagement to Gwyneth ended, along came JENNIFER ANISTON and the tabloid frenzy with one of America's Sweethearts dating and marrying one of America's heartthrobs. A match made in heaven. Or hell, depending on how you look at it. When Jennifer and Brad were married there wasn't a minute where they weren't in a magazine, on the news, or in the tabloid. I hadn't seen that kind of celebrity marriage frenzy since the helicopters hovering over Madonna and Sean Penn. That kind of Fame can be mentally destroying but I think that they both weather the Fame storm pretty well. Here's my take on Jennifer: I am not a huge Friends fan, but I am fan enough to have a soft spot for Jennifer Aniston and "Rachel". I think that she is completely relatable and honest in her acting. Fantastic in "The Morning Show" and fun in "Murder Mystery". The fact that I even watched that movie is a testament to my fondness for Jennifer; cuz Adam Sandler B.U.G.S. I want to give a shout out for when she made the statement that getting famous was much harder to do when the cast of "Friends" became a phenomenon, because you actually had to "do something or have a talent" to become famous. Perhaps a slightly bitter jab at the flood of people who do nothing that requires a skill set to become famous; simply because they went viral or they have been overexposed or done something ridiculous with their body. So I understand her point of view and I also enjoy her public sense of humor. She is not aloof as Gwyneth and certainly not as menacing as Angelina. I like Jennifer and her margarita time. I still think she and Brad were perfect together.

AUTOGRAPH: Jennifer has a bit of a quick scrawl, but I have two authentic signatures shown here. Hers is a highly sought autograph and forgeries abound. Enjoy the split screen shot of Jen and Brad above their clearly dubious "in person hand signed" index cards. Laughably bad forgeries.

About four years into his marriage, Brad was teamed up with ANGELINA JOLIE and they fell hard for each other while filming "Mr and Mrs Smith". Their chemistry was unmistakably palpable; it jumped off the screen. How many hot co-stars spending intimate time together, hours per day, for months at a time might fall in bed or love? (It's happened time and time again.) Next thing you know, the Jen-Brad-Angelina turned into a movie star 3-way replay from the '60s when nice guy Eddie Fisher was married to America's sweetheart Debbie Reynolds and stolen away by aggressive sexpot Elizabeth Taylor. The tabloid frenzy was kicked into the stratosphere and that's what the three of them had to experience as he transitioned from Jennifer to Jolie. Now, let's be clear, it's pretty well known that Angelina Jolie is no joke. She is not here to play. Never has been. Ever since seeing her in the movie "Gia" playing the ill-fated supermodel and then winning an Oscar as a mentally unstable and suicidal "Girl Interrupted", Angelina Jolie has ALWAYS had my attention.  Those eyes, her intensity, the cheekbones; she is compelling and you simply have to look at her. "Maleficent" is the embodiment of Angelina Jolie if you ask me. And now she is the wicked witch in the public eye who just won't let go of her ire with Brad. All of the accusations and dragging on a bitter divorce, through the mud, in public, children having to pick sides. I think that she is physically attractive, but the whole Pitt-Jolie situation is far from pretty.  Since this soap opera is still unfolding, all I can say is I don't know the whole story or the inside scoop, but I hope Brad gets a break! Angelina, though, is one actress who I can completely forgive and forget her personal life, and fully enjoy her movies. "Maria" as Maria Callas played by Angelina is a dream come true for me.

AUTOGRAPH: Angelina has an angular, sharp-line, geometric type of autograph. Authentic autographs of hers usually include no cross through and a strong forward upward at the right tip of the A. And Jolie very often just looks like a quickly printed messy letter M.

In summary, I like all four of them in different degrees and this particular quartet highlights the travails, highs, lows, discomfort and underbelly of being in the stratosphere of super fame.  Kudos to all of them for being survivors in their individual ways

BRAD PITT’S FEMALE CO-STARS

I’ve written above about the romantic entanglements in Brad’s orbit.  And I’ve also got a lot of women in my collection who were instrumental in Brad’s career and/or key co-stars in some of his best films.

GEENA DAVIS AUTOGRAPH

Andy Cohen asked her about the break and recommendation she gave to Brad Pitt after Brad’s audition and their reading together for “Thelma & Louise”.  Geena very quickly said it was Brad who nailed it and she had nothing to do with it.  I love Geena Davis.  For her honesty, unique way of talking through her teeth, putting up with Jeff Goldblum when they were married, looking too young to be a senior in “The Boroughs” but still being a draw to make me want to watch her and the show. Everyone should nail 70 like Geena Davis. Here’s the scene with Geena that catapulted Brad to fame:

The Geena Davis photographs in my collection are absolute forgeries, not even remotely close to her signature.  But the autograph from her book is one of her better signatures, written a bit slower and fully.  Now that Thelma has been covered, please feel free to check out Louise (Susan Sarandon)

JULIETTE LEWIS AUTOGRAPH

She co-starred with Brad in “Kalifornia”, which I never saw.  But I loved her in “Natural Born Killers”, thought they crossed the line by oversexualizing her in “Cape Fear” and applaud the unexpected beats of “Juliette and the Licks”.  I had VIP meet and greet tickets to see her perform, but I ended up going out of town and missing the concert.  Additionally, I was 5 feet away from her during the Lexington Scarefest in late 2025, but the line was ridiculous, I already had her in my collections, and I was getting the heebies from the convention-goers ... so I split.  But I can report that she was in good spirits, seemed to be enjoying herself immensely, had just as long a line as Heather Langenkamp and looked fantastica; naturally aging and real.  

I love her tough Joan Jett-like vocals – especially in “You’re Speaking My Language”, which reached #35 in the U.K.  

Luckily, I have an authentically signed 8x10 of Juliette in my collection along with 2 forged index cards (don’t buy if it looks like them, folks).  Thank you to McGarbo, my autograph vetting agent for showing me the Juliette Way.  

CATE BLANCHETT AUTOGRAPH

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” was a mesmerizing movie.  Brad Pitt was purely secondary to me in comparison to the overall plot and concept.  But Cate Blanchett was his co-star, and I honestly can say that there isn’t ANYTHING that I’ve seen her in that is NOT interesting.  That’s rare; cuz I’m a picky guy.  But Cate is great.  That’s her authentic autograph on the playbill from “The Present”.  And forged index cards; be forewarned!

TILDA SWINTON AUTOGRAPH

Tilda Swinton was another of Brad’s co-star in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.  I think she’s a phenomenal actress.  I love her most when she is playing severe, harsh or cold characters.  Especially in “The Chronicles of Narnia”.  Masterclass.

Everything about Tilda is unique, including her signature.  I love both of my autographed photos of her.  If I ever meet her in person, it will be White Witch that I have her sign!

JULIA ORMOND AUTOGRAPH

Another “Curious Case of Benjamin Button” co-star of Brad’s.  Also, his female lead in “Legends of the Fall”.  But “Legends” is so far outside of my interest wheelhouse, that I never saw it. But I do have these great authentic autographed photos of Brad’s two-time co-star, and Oscar nominee, Julia Ormond 

HELENA BONHAM CARTER

Brad’s co-star in “Fight Club”.  Quirky Helena Bonham carter is always so much fun to watch!  Since her characters are often wacky and extreme; I get mesmerized.  I was so pumped when it was announced she would be in the next season of “White Lotus”.  Then I wanted to be a fly on the way during Helena’s encounter with Mike White where it was decided that she would not participate in the series because “the interpretation of her character did not match his vision”. Hmmm.  I think we ALL would have loved to see her playing a faded star desperately chasing a comeback.  

Helena doesn’t need gimmicks to give a great performance.  But watch her transformation into her character as The Red Queen in “Alice in Wonderland” – it’s great!

Shown here from my collection is an authentic 4x6 photo that she would send through the mail to fans, along with an in-person signed index card.  Note her two distinctively different ways of writing her H and E in Helena; they’re both legit examples.  I’ve also included what she wrote on the back of an 8x10 in my collection that she would NOT sign because she thinks the picture is “hideous”.  Well, she’s not wrong.

ELIZABETH McGOVERN AUTOGRAPH

Elizabeth McGovern’s non-wavering expression of furrowed brow concern, disapproval or sympathy made me laugh during the TV run of “Downton Abbey”.  I liked her character and the show a lot, but I felt there should have been a drinking fame for every time she made that face.  No hate; just amusing.  

In thinking of Brad Pitt’s co-stars, I was reminded that he and Elizabeth were both in the “The Favor”.  Made in 1990, shelved by Orion’s bankruptcy, it was eventually released in 1994.  I haven’t seen it.  I don’t think I need to.  But I’m glad to have Elizabeth McGovern’s autograph in my collection.  Look at her beautiful signature.  Love!

BRAD PITT’S BROKEN HEART

I’ve covered Brad’s two wives and his engaged love Gwyneth Paltrow.  Now I want to add his first (publicly known) big heartbreak.

JILL SCHOELEN AUTOGRAPH

Brad Pitt was really in love with Jill Schoelen and he was engaged to her in 1989.  The story goes that Jill called him crying on her movie set in Hungary, that she was lonely and sad.  Brad spent his last $800 to get to Hungary to visit her – he arrives and she breaks up with him, telling him she’s in love with the director.  OUCH!!!

I’m not going to hold the heartbreak of a young Brad Pitt against Jill.  I’m just going to say that I’m glad I have her autograph in my collection.  I had completely forgotten that I had her signature on a still from a movie that I really enjoyed: “The Stepfather”; Terry O’Quinn was creepalicious!