Even in 2024, it’s a big deal if an active pro athlete is gay – especially in the macho arenas of NBA, NFL or MLB.  I don’t think people blink an eye if there’s a gay gymnast, diver or ice-skater.  Now why is that???  Hmmmm. Could it be corporate sponsoring would have an issue with an actively gay player.  Or that straight athletes would have locker-room-sharing issues. That’s why there’s so many athletes on the DL. Facts that are rarely discussed in the macho arena of balls and butt pats.   

The group of guys I’m going to talk about here were vanguards in some way, writing about their sexuality, coming out AFTER their retirement.  This way they could be honest, make money and NOT jeopardize their career. 

GLENN BURKE 

The first book about an athlete coming out as gay, really touched me, because I remember seeing him in the Castro district of San Francisco pretty regularly near the tail-end of his life.  “Out at Home” by GLENN BURKE was the first time that an MLB player came out publicly.  I have a super-rare first-edition copy of his book, released in 1995 only as a paperback since our world wasn’t as “woke” then and distribution was probably minimal.  Since that time, it has been re-issued and re-released and at least three other books have been released on him – a couple whose titles focus on the man who invented the “high five”, which he did.  See the sub-title on my copy of “Singled Out”.  But I wonder who’s getting the money on those?!?! Unscrupulous sellers are selling forgeries on eBay that don’t even resemble his real signature.  I’ve attached an example (not mine) that was signed during his glory days and matches the signed card that I have perfectly.   

“Out at Home: The Glenn Burke Story” is a really touching book and gut-wrenching story.  Not only about his struggles with sexuality within a franchise that wanted him to be quiet about it, but also about his personal struggles.  When I got towards the end of the book, that’s when it hit me.  He was talking about his time as a drug-addicted hustler who hung out in the Castro, especially at the Rainbow Café where the staff would let him sit a table for hours nursing his coffee, maybe striking up a conversation for some “business” and relying on the kindness of strangers who might buy him some food.  I used to go to this restaurant all the time and I remember him!  (The small color picture is from 1993 hanging out the window of The Rainbow Cafe, the way I remember him looking.) In my mind, he was this happy-go-lucky, questionably homeless, super friendly black guy that you could tell used to have a nice body and still had the vestiges of handsomeness.  I had no idea at the time that he was trading in on his fame and that he was a former baseball player.  Reading about his downward spiral and ultimate death of AIDS just brought the memory of myself living through that time when friends and acquaintances would just melt-away, turn into skin and bones almost overnight and ultimately disappear.  His internal pain and struggles seem to show in his eyes.  R.I.P. Glenn Burke. He died at the age of 42.  

DAVE PALLONE 

“Behind the Mask: My Double Life in Baseball” (1988) by DAVE PALLONE was the second gay-athlete book I read (well actually I listened to it on audio tape … a cassette).  He was an umpire, not a player, and he was outed by the press before he wrote his story.  Even though his hand was kinda forced, I give him credit for telling his story.  And it was a tough read/listen realizing what a secret and unfulfilled life he had to live, even as a contracted umpire.  Trying to maintain a relationship or openly reciprocated love was just not feasible at that time for a person in the world of sports. And fluid Gen Z think they got problems. 

When I found a signed copy of his book, it was inscribed with “Thanks for a great time.  Hope we get together again soon.”  You know where my mind went. 

DAVID KOPAY 

The DAVID KOPAY Story written in 1977 by (then-retired) NFL player was the first to really bring national attention to gays in sports. And he was the first NFL player to come out, in 1975. It was the first athlete-comes-out-as-gay book, and it was a national best-seller. He got a lot of press at that time (remember 1977 was pre-AIDs) and he did a lot of book signings.  His affair with fellow NFL player Jerry Smith (not called out by name) was in his book.  And then Jerry subsequently became the first professional athlete to publicly state he had AIDs; two months before he died in October of 1986. 

Scanned here is a first edition copy of his book from my collection (a $3.95 Thrift Store find) Interesting to note that the book cover has changed multiple times with each re-printing.  The initial hardback release was a faceless football player in the shadows.  Other covers include a small drawing of a football player as seen from behind, then there’s the cover with a nice big picture of David in his prime, wearing his uniform.  And then finally we have the 2001 cover of a naked David shown from the side leaning forward with his arms resting on his bent.  A gay autobiography started with a cover in the shadows that morphed into a nude thirst-trap.  This, children, is called societal progress of gay acceptance and commercialism at its finest.   

(Regarding David’s autograph photo shown here; it’s a picture of David from the 1977 Mandate where he appeared shirtless on the cover. I bought it in huge lot from a collector who was obsessed with just about any famous male athlete, model or actor in the late 70’s and early 80’s. His perseverance in sending magazine pages and collecting of everybody from models for Dr. Scholl’s foot powder, to doomed actor Jon-Erik Hexum, all the soap and TV actors of the day and these high-profile athletes was a huge boon for my collection and so much fun to go through and research everyone.  See my entry on Male Models) 

JOHN AMAECHI 

In the NBA it was JOHN AMAECHI who was the first player to come out.  I purchased one of his signed trading cards and a signed copy of his autobiography “Man in the Middle”.  The reaction to his coming out was varied, bad and good, but I find this one statement from a fellow NBA player to be interesting/funny/telling.  “…as long as you don’t bring your gayness on me, I’m fine”.  Why do straight men think/fear that every gay man would even be interested in them? 

My musical Tourette syndrome is going crazy while I’m scanning Amaechi’s memorabilia.  The Advocate Cover and “Gay in the NBA” is playing in my head to the tune of “Born in the USA” and his book title “Man in the Middle” has ben transmogrified into “Man in the Mirror” … “I’m asking him to change his ways”.  

ROY SIMMONS 

The second NFL player to come out as gay (again, AFTER retiring) was ROY SIMMONS. His autobiography “Out of Bounds: Coming Out of Sexual Abuse” is a well-written, painful story.  It runs the gamut from sexual abuse as a child, becoming a father himself, a successful career in football, the monied high life and being generous to his family, living a double-life having sex with men and women, going to gay sex clubs even when he was a known person, homelessness, knife-fight, etc.  But it was the drugs, his being roofied-raped and the HIV that really framed the story of a man in despair.  The man who was nicknamed “Sugarbear” at Georgia Tech and kicked ass while playing for NY Giants and Washington Redskins died at 57 in 2014.  His family said the cause of death was pneumonia.  All rollercoasters eventually come to an abrupt stop. 

ESERA TUALO 

I’ll wind up on a happier note with the 3rd NFL player to come out publicly.  ESERA TUAOLO wrote “Alone in the Trenches: My Life as a Gay Man in the NFL” (2006).  Another victim of sexual abuse as a child and a man from both a cultural heritage and athletic arena that forced him to sneak around and hide his sexual identity.  But Esara is doing well and found experienced a different kind of fame and fan love with his singing on “The Voice”.  A friend of mine, Vic V., in Minneapolis, who has been intimate with Esera, has nothing but wonderful things to say about this man.  Just recently, while I was in Minneapolis, I told Vic that Esera would be in my blog and he said “We could probably go see him right now at the restaurant that he likes to eat at!  He’s there almost every day with his kids!”.  Now that’s sweet.  I love a happy ending. (Get your mind out the gutter!)