THE SLAP TAPE, OLD MOVIES AND KIM STANLEY

Although I’ve been collecting autographs through the mail since 1979, and I was initially focused solely on the stars from the Golden Age of Hollywood – please keep in mind that my fourteen-year-old self had seen VERY few classic films.  My dad used to love classic films and when they were on, he would name each and every one of the players on the screen.  But my interest was nil, I wasn’t really paying attention, I thought those black and white films were boring AF and I wanted to go to my room and read.

What does this have to do with “The Goddess”, you say?  Well, since I was constantly cutting out pix from library books and/or paying for (and occasionally subtly “pocketing)”) movie stills to be signed – it was simply because they were cool looking photos.  Or I was writing to well-known “names” that I knew would reply (like Fred Astaire, Lucille Ball, George Burns, etc)

It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that my best friend Jimmy introduced me to WATCHING these Golden Age of Hollywood movies.  And he did so while we were getting stoned and sitting on the bed in his bedroom of his grandmother’s house in Hillsborough, California while he showed me BETA (yes, BETA, before VHS!) tapes that were the best introduction to camp and classic films. 

One was called “The Slap Tape” and it consisted of various clips from classic films where women were slapping men (or other women), interspersed with glamorous close-ups and other campy scenes with cutting, snappy and hilarious repartee. Initially, "The Slap Tape" was typical background at Jimmy's house and Debora K./Debora T. and Mary E. and me were among the first group to enjoy lines like Jessica Walter screaming "Yeah! Get lost asshole!!" But I converted "The Slap Tape" to VHS, then DVD and showed it repeatedly to Emily M., Kenny M. and others It got to the point where we (ok, maybe just me) would yell the lines out as they were being said. "I just wanted you to know that!!"

One of the montages on “The Slap Tape” included scenes from “The Goddess” with Kim Stanley moaning and shrieking at her mother’s grave site, ultimately shrieking “I wanna die!  I wanna die” – but it was THIS portion of “The Slap Tape” that made me interested in watching the whole movie with Jimmy.

Hence “The Goddess” became my introduction to truly appreciating “old” movies.  The clips on the slap tape served as trailers to Jimmy’s BETA collection, and induced me to watch “The Lady from Shanghai” (Do all rich women play games like this?), “To Catch a Thief” (Shall we stand in shallower water and discuss that?), “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” (Little girl … otherwise people might think you’re lacking in manners), “Play Misty For Me” ("So this is your business lunch?!?) and on an on.  I was, and remain, hooked.

Because of my love for Jessica Lange (starting with “King Kong”), I was awestruck by “Frances” and intrigued by Kim Stanley’s performance as her mother, because I knew Kim from “The Goddess”.  And I just had to get Kim Stanley’s autograph.  Now THAT was a challenge.   I tried writing to multiple addresses and never got a response.

And then I found her phone number. Wow.  My chats with Kim Stanley are best recalled with flash-back sound bites.  I was chastised for calling her and told not to call back.  But now I had her correct address, so I sent some photos to be autographed along with a certified signed-receipt (the best way to ensure a signature – see my story on Jean Arthur). 

I called Kim after I knew she had the photos.  She was talkative!  No, she won’t sign the photos.  Marlon Brando had told her that signing autographs was meaningless or stupid or something.  She talked about teaching acting.  She chastised me some more.  She said not to call her again.  So, I didn’t … for maybe a few weeks, but I wanted those darn photos signed.  I called her again.  Oooooffff.  It was hot and cold.  She was flattered by my youthful persistence.  But WHY is it so important to get autographs?  She said maybe she’d sign for me.  The line was silent.  I thought she hung up.  She came back on the line and started yelling at me.  I WAS LIVING IN THE SLAP TAPE!!! 

She never did sign those photos I sent her – and the autographs you see here were purchased – except the return-receipt which (once again) in my novice ignorance, is sun-faded from being on display with a photo from “The Goddess”.  I bought “Séance on a Wet Afternoon” (So good – nominated for Best Actress) and “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” (it was OK .. but Kim won the Emmy) and “The Three Sisters” (yawnsville – too heavy for me) all on VHS.  Later, I was able to find some of her TV appearances – “Night Gallery” is a good one!  A stage actress with just a handful of movies and some TV credits and yet 2 Oscar nominations and 2 Emmy wins. She was extraordinarily gifted.  And troubled. 

I strongly recommend the biography on her, “Female Brando”, published after her death.  She would probably be furious that the book was even written but would perhaps subtly enjoy the title.  And now I understand why she was so erratic on our phone calls.  It may have been drink, it may have been mood, it may have been mental.  It almost seems like suffering is an inherent part of being labeled a genius in any field. 

The other autographs …

LLOYD BRIDGES – An affable actor, but not memorable to me, in “The Goddess”.  Mostly, I recall “He really doesn’t remind me of DiMaggio”.  Unfair, I know. He was fun in “Airplane” though.

BETTY LOU HOLLAND – C’mon give me some kudos on finding an autograph of the near-mute, beleaguered, cold, stilted and God-fearing mother of Kim Stanley.  That was a good find!

JOANNE LINVILLE – I met Joanne in April 2014 at The Hollywood Collector Show in Burbank and I have ZERO recall of our meeting.  Ugggh.  I need some gingko biloba.  Usually when I go to an autograph show, I will comb through the credits of each celeb and sometimes I strike a nugget like Joanne Linville having been in “The Goddess”.  She inscribed “Now I’m sleeping with assistant directors”, which I think was a result of me asking “What were you saying in this scene shown in the photo”?

STEVEN HILL – I wrote to Steven Hill at his home address in Monsey, NY in 2014.  Like Lloyd Bridges, I don’t remember him as being highly memorable in “The Goddess” – I knew him from “Law and Order”.  Yet, I wanted him to sign a photo from “The Goddess”; probably because I had just met Joanne Linville, so he was top of mind.  Never heard back from him; maybe he was too ill.  Thank my lucky stars that an eBay search at just the right time (January 2025) found a signed photo of him with Kim from “The Goddess” for $98.40 (to be exact)

“I was happy on stage; it was my home, really - Hollywood was phony.” – KIM STANLEY

Thank you to Kim Stanley for “slumming” it on celluloid.  Her performances are a slice of magic that are preserved for those of us who never could have seen her onstage. 

PS - I am absolutely going to call her back.  I’ll be killing time with that phone directory in purgatory, while they decide where I’m going.  “To Bobby – An angel to some, a demon to others”