"I don't know her" - Mariah Carey has famously said about Jennifer Lopez 

"I don't know anything about baby oil and white parties" - is what I imagine Jennifer Lopez would probably say about Puff Daddy's troubles 

"I don't know these people - they're anonymous Jane/John Does out for a shameful money grab" - Sean Combs/Puff Daddy/P Diddy via his lawyer in response to dozens of lawsuits 

There's a lot of "I don't know" going on with this trio. 

I’ve seen Mariah Carey in concert three times, and they were all vastly different versions of her.  My first time seeing her was at The Shoreline in Mountain View at the absolute beginning of her career on August 5, 1990. She was part of a multi-artist “KMEL Summer Jam” concert and was really unknown except for “Vision of Love”.  When she was introduced, this tiny little creature in an even tinier LBD came onto the stage a bit timidly and from where I was sitting, I could see it was obvious that she was nervous.  Then this girl with the curly hair started singing slowly and the partying daytime audience hushed.  Her confidence grew as her voice grew stronger and louder.  She 100% NAILED every note in “Vision of Love” to perfection and got a massive standing ovation and screaming crowd response.  And then the little girl in the little dress walked off stage.  She was the first artist followed by Tony! Toni! Tone’!, M.C. Hammer, Johnny Gill and Bel Biv Devoe.  I recall literally nothing of the other artists (except maybe the “Uh oh, uh oh” Hammertime dance).  But I think it was clear to everybody that we had just heard a performance by a new girl that was going to be a superstar. 

The next time I saw Mariah was at the height of her assured voice and glamour phase.  It was The Rainbow Tour, March 21, 2000.  SHE WAS EVERYTHING!  The staging, the staircase, the bejeweled microphone, the vocals, the dresses, hair, and makeup.  It was all perfection.  We watched her descending the (glass/clear?) staircase in heels without looking down, confidently stepping, and hitting pitch perfect notes, even elongating some.  It was Mariah perfection.   

The third time was Christmas Mariah at Caesars in Las Vegas on November 30, 2019.  This was a much more casual, relaxed and fun-time Mariah.  The set list was a bit of a mess as was the choreography.  Her vocals were spotty, but occasionally showed the magic and she seemed to be laughing at the fact that all the kinks weren’t worked out in the show.  Especially the segment where she was supposed to sideways into her dancer’s arms but that didn’t work out so well.  She wasn’t perfect, she may have had some extra champagne and cake, but it WAS Mariah.  She knew what was up and she was in on the joke.  She really didn’t care and neither did we.  Legends gets a free pass. 

Now speaking of Legends, have you ever seen the “Legends Panel” parody series with footage of legendary females talking about who they will allow into their stratosphere?  If not, you need to check it out on YouTube, it’s friggin’ hilarious, and they are constantly coming for Jennifer Lopez who is desperately trying to qualify as a legend.  The slamming comments by the likes of Dionne, Patti, Mariah, etc. are crazy funny – as is Jennifer’s laugh and obsequious behavior.  Please go to YouTube and look for “Legends Panel” – it’s so worth it. 

Anyway, like knowing that Mariah Carey was going to be a star when I first saw her sing at “KMEL Summer Jam”, I absolutely KNEW that Jennifer Lopez was going to be A-list when I saw her in … wait for it … “Anaconda”. I saw this hilariously bad snake movie before her bust-out in “Selena” and it was my first conscious awareness of her.  I thought to myself, this girl has got some gumption, something special about her and she is actually shining through this piece of crap, making her character believable.  Her scrappiness, combined with her looks and earnestness captured my attention.  “Selena”, of course, sealed the deal.  The ascendancy had begun, and she has clung to the top rungs of the ladder through so much. The musical career and J-Lo persona, the sometimes-awful but sometimes-fun movies, the dancing and “singing” performances and the tabloid headlines.  She has worked hard to remain seen, fit, relevant and attractive in a natural looking way.  Granted, there are many rumors about her O.C.D., her controlling and demanding behavior, her diligence and discipline and her intolerance for “less than” in her orbit.  In a woman they unfairly call this behavior as bitchy.  But in a man, they call it powerful.  I say this is a woman who grabs her destiny by the balls.  Power with clarity.  

But her choices in men.  Oy vey.  Not so much clarity.  Just murky AF.  When she was with Puff Daddy and there were all sorts of tabloid incidents that were a little sketchy, in the back of my mind I was thinking.  Jennifer is not HATING this, because it IS publicity, but maybe she’s not LOVING it because it could harm her future career viability and her personal image.  The Versace gown, the breakup with Puff Daddy, “The Cell” (LOVE!!) and the release of the #1 “J.Lo” hit-filled album all happened within a 2 year period and ushered in a new era and accelerated fame for Jennifer.  Regardless of Affleck 2.0, canceled tour dates and somewhat of a career fade; I’m still rooting for her, and I know she will survive and thrive. Like Madonna, I feel that Jennifer will have the ability to reinvent herself.  Unlike Madonna, I don’t think Jennifer will alter her appearance too greatly.  No shade, just a guess. 

Puff Puffy P. Diddy Daddy Sean Combs.  I think that says it all.  This is a man with many monikers and many personalities.  I’ve already said I knew and felt when Jennifer and Mariah were going to be big stars.  And perhaps so did many others.  But I also always felt something was “off” with Puff Daddy.  Right from the very beginning, I liked some of his music, but there was something in his eyes (which I also saw in R. Kelly) that just was uncomfortable and dark.  And here we are today with him in jail with so many pending charges of unsavory acts and belittling behavior. 

I’ve got a lot of music on vinyl and CD of all these artists.  And I’m kinda bummed that I sold the original release red vinyl disc of “All I Want for Christmas” (or maybe the Christmas LP itself?) way back in the day.  When my Gen Z and Millennial friends ask me how they can go about making passive income (which they often think literally means “passive” in making it happen), I tell them write a song like “All I Want for Christmas”.  And FYI the dance remix is still on my workout playlist.  No homo, bro. Naw.